So, for the past few weeks, everybody has known my thoughts have been spiraling out of control.
After thinking about it for quite some time I believe the reason why I am getting these thoughts and feeling so bad is a simple answer ; The past.
I realize when triggered or getting triggered it usually ends up with me ; Thinking about the past or thinking about something that has not even happened yet.
I realized that I have been thinking about the future ; Things that I have always wanted to the point it is almost an obsession and anything not with my future or what I desire leads back to… you guessed it.
The past ; Things that have already happened in a BAD light but sometimes enhanced so much to the point where it seems like I am battling with concepts and realities that are not even real – Because they never were and they CANNOT exist in this reality, they are physically impossible to do so!
So what is the REAL problem at the SOURCE of all these problems?
Fear and Obsession.
I always FEAR when something bad will happen due to HOW people EXPLAIN the Law Of Attraction – They say you ATTRACT what you put out, and sometimes, with a bad mental state, that can always lead to bad things happening.
I FEAR something bad will happen if I do not FOCUS on what that bad thing IS when in reality – Just not focusing on it AT ALL could fix EVERYTHING about this entire situation.
The bad part is the URGE to have COMPULSIVE FEELINGS over the bad said thing – When you FEEL something that is SO STRONG you cannot HELP but to START to compluse over it because if you do not – Again, you FEAR something bad will happen and that is never, ever really the case I found out.
And the OBSESSION – That is when all my focus and attention is placed on those delusional thoughts, feelings, and memories that are not even real and can never BE real because they just cannot exist here or anywhere else.
So, what to do when feeling an urge that is so strong that I literally FEEL like I HAVE to do it or else something bad will happen, or maybe my day will feel off, or my energies will feel yucky all day?
I have to come to terms that if I want to defeat this nasty thing – I have to let it go, detach from it, and let it have free run over me.
And then gently and kindly accept those thoughts, accept those feelings, accept everything and no matter what I FEEL or HOW I FEEL to remember that the more I do that – The faster this entire situation will go away forever.
I can also listen to subliminals and script which I am already doing as well – And while it may take time, everything takes time to manliest regardless.
I realize that my physical disorder also ends INSTANTLY every time I say this powerful and short mantra no MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON ; "The only moment is the present moment."
That may even be a clue as to what I should be doing – Being mindful and aware that the only moment is truly this moment, not the future, not the past, not even in my mind, because in the mind there is again no past or future, just concepts of the said events!
Now, this is not to say I CANNOT think of anything or that no positive thoughts WILL come because they ARE and THEY WILL!
I SHOULD focus on those thoughts because they WILL help me in the end – But focus on them gently and kindly, like gardening a plant.
I should focus on the things that make me happiest because they are things that raise my vibrations and make me the most energized!
And sometimes that may be hard for me to remember especially during these times but it is possible and it will happen.
I have to learn to do the following ; Acknowledge the thoughts and feelings and understand they may be uncomfortable and may FEEL real and maybe FEEL like they are ACTUALLY happening but I HAVE to remember the TRUTH of all this – They are not real, they are nothing.
They are not desired – They are just lies, and they are nothing but a delusion.
Next is the accept the feelings – NOT to fight them or speak about them or acknowledge what they may be showing – Just accepting they are here right now in THE NOW and they will eventually go away on their own naturally and peacefully as that is the way of all thoughts.
And finally is the hardest point – Letting go and detaching from all those unwanted FEELINGS, not the thoughts themselves.
These FEELINGS are NOT wanted, but they can STILL be acknowledged and FELT with LOVE and ACCEPTANCE other than HATE and RESISTANCE.
"What you resist, persists."
I am still having trouble with this and it is by far one of the hardest things to do is to simply be aware of these feelings, idly let them flow through you like nothing, and simply sit with them until they fade off into the void.
I understand that this is the ONLY way to make sure that I can NATURALLY go THROUGH these emotions and eventually learn to EMBRACE them so I DO NOT HAVE TOO fight them anymore and they can go away on their own and NEVER come back.
I had success yesterday doing this – Obsessive urges to take a shower after just taking a shower and for a moment, it worked and for a moment, in that moment, I stopped the urges in their place completely and it almost went away.
But in a moment of weakness I did it anyways – But it shows I CAN sit WITH these feelings and stop FIGHTING.
This is from weeks of trials, errors, failures, and moments I wanted to give up or even end it all but luckily I came out stronger because of it.
And the main source of ALL of these feelings?
My situation itself, not the people involved.
I know this for sure, this is what IS causing ALL of this to arise.
I have wanted to leave America for a long time ; There is too much going on, and Japan seems like the PERFECT place to go off the grid and live peacefully away civilization for awhile, hell, most of the people there are even introverts for the most part – FOR THE MOST PART.
After watching the riots and the news about them for so long – Something in my mind snapped and then soon after the thoughts came and the situation at home was not looking too good either.
I hate living at home now and I do not want to be stuck working in places that I will have to work at until I am forty and unhappy with life – That is NOT going to be life, something WILL AND HAS to change and I AM FULLY COMMITTED to that FACT!
And the main factor is not having peace or quiet – I am an introvert and need space away from people and cities, I do not feel right being around cities and people for long periods of time and it is also shown that introverts may suffer from more forms of mental health problems if this persists which could ALSO be ANOTHER reason WHY this is all happening.
But that does not matter.
None of this matters.
I am living in the NOW and will be focusing on what to do NOW and not focused on the past, the future, or a place that does not exist unless for my benefit ALONE and ONLY FOR MY BENEFIT!
All I have to do now is stay true to my words and detach completely and all will be well in the end.
I am choosing the leave the old behind forever – And enter the new finally, the Universe has been waiting for a long time!
If anybody has anything else to add or say – Some advice would also be good, this may be rough or very easy from now on but this was all thanks to all of you – So thank you all. 🙂 <3
So the recap for the week about what I should be doing from not only this group but other groups and members ;
Accepting the feelings and the thoughts without fighting them and just learning and accepting they will happen and they will come regardless of how many times I do not want them too – I just have to let them come over me naturally and peacefully and with love let them show what they need too and acknowledge them – Not to fight, obsess, talk back too, or to worry about them – Just acknowledge they are there and they will fade off into the Universe itself again soon enough.
When I accept my thoughts and my feelings even if they are uncomfortable and learn to just sit there with them and acknowledge them as occurring, I can always know the Universe is with me always even in this state, no matter what state, the Universe is always going to protect me – Even now it is, it is simply trying to make me learn something about MYSELF so I CAN be stronger and mentally tough to prepare myself for the future tasks at hand when I DO end up getting ALL of my desires to CONTINUE to be strong for MYSELF!
I have to learn when to stop thinking about the things that do not benefit and just focus on what does – Sometimes it is best to focus on the positive and even REPROGRAM ANY memory if I have too just to get that result.
I do not have to always switch or completely stop myself from thinking about ANYTHING, I just have to learn to filter out what is benefiting me and what is not – And repeat the steps above if they are not benefiting and accept and be grateful for ALL the things that I DO have NOW even if they are NOT!
The world is not real – Nothing on this planet is real at all – Whether it be a dream, simulation, whatever the case may be – It is all in my head but many lean towards the latter of a dream itself and that I should remember that ; I am the dreamer of my dream and I should never give that power up NO MATTER WHAT I FEEL.
And finally, despite all this, I should do what feels best for me and go my own path ; Nobody is 100% perfect and nobody has ALL the correct answers – Everybody just wants to give their perspective on a topic they know and others will regardless if they know them or not.
If people disagree with me or do not like me – The Universe never wanted me to be around them to begin with – The Universe is obviously telling me that being on my own is FOR the best and maybe I just have not found the RIGHT crowd yet – So I should focus on myself and just focus on my mental health and continue to do what is right for ME right now – Including making my dreams come no matter what!
Also, the final thing I can say is that when all else fails and there are days I slip up again, where there are moments some thoughts do make me react, when there are moments in my current NOW situation where things are tough and make me feel tension in my reality – I just have to remember the Universe is at my beck and call AND ALL I HAVE TO DO IS ASK AND IT WILL BE DELIVERED.
Maybe it might take weeks, days, months, or years, but it will come to me regardless.
It may not take years, but maybe I should spend my NOW days and weeks focusing on my desire, loving myself for myself, being grateful for the things I have, accepting ALL my flaws and feelings, and just KNOWING that despite EVERYTHING going on – The only way to truly let the Universe do it's job for me truly – Is to let go of trying to control everything and think of everything, and just surrender myself TO the Universe.
I am currently listening to subliminals and scripting.
This is what makes me happy right now ; Knowing that subliminals and scripting will help me and the Universe is always supporting me no matter what happens.
Anyways, that is enough.
I said enough ; The Universe knows I have, you all know I have, and especially my angel guides know I have so I have nothing else to say anymore.
I feel like I released all the baggage I could and though some feelings remain – Those feelings are cleansing and releasing now – Nothing else can be removed because all there is now is empty – The feeling of acceptance and moving on now.
I hope everybody enjoys their morning!
And keep being positive!
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